glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
