Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
