Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
