Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
