I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
