But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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