He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
