Will you blow on my dice?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
