It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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