How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
