Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
