Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
