Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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