i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
