did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
