the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
