Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
