it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
