So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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