so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
