so that wasnt chicken after all
my being single is dangerous.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
