i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
