i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
