I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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