Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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