Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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