She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
