I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
