Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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