Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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