Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
