You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
