I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
