Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize