If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
