Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Randomize
