Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
