I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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