we made out on top of his cat.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
