I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
