evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
