Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
