these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
