Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
