are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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