remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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