What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
