i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
