idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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