The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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