Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
my being single is dangerous.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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