You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
