on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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