Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
