Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
