Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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