I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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