we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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