I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
